Shoot It™: Fossa

The BBC has pulled out all the stops to make humans hate themselves in a new story about an unusual predator in Madagascar. The hapless animal is dwindling in numbers because the Evil Humans are pushing back its habitat and preventing them from killing livestock.

The rancidly socialist BBC used all of the hyper-emotive words we've come to expect from weird leftists:

threatened

uncertain future

declining rapidly

critically endangered

fewer than 2500 survive

endangered

perilous state

fall in the numbers

habitat desctrution

dwindling forest

three years left to see fossas

faces other threats

might soon go extinct

I think the BBC got every sad phrase in there. Did they miss any? I think they got 'em all. Reading the story was like drinking pure maple syrup. I'm disappointed they didn't try to link the decline of the fossa to global warming climate change. Skilled leftist agitators could have tried harder to make us hate ourselves.

The story was very similar to one about frogs from a couple of years ago.

Instead of crying about the impending demise of a species nobody knows about or cares about, why not just shoot them and get it over with quickly? Why drag out the inevitable?

The Shoot It™ series can be found here.

Shoot It: sea turtles

I'm such a horrible human being for not doing more to protect the loggerhead turtle. Sniff. How could I be so cruel, wanting to live in an advanced civilization? Sob. If these turtles aren't protected, the entire world -- nay, the universe -- will die a slow death. Whaaaaa.

From AP:

The massive, nomadic sea turtles have been listed since 1978 as threatened, a step below endangered, but federal scientists proposed ratcheting up the designation after reviewing the state of the species.

Since I'm all but branded a murderer and destroyer of natural life, why not cut to the chase and do away with the loggerheads once and for all?


The entire Shoot It™ series can be found here.

Shoot It™: migratory birds

We're being told that we are bad people, again. The evil humans bent on total destruction of all the helpless little creatures of the world are now committing genocide on -- wait for it -- migratory birds. Cue the creepy organ music.

I'll bet National Geographic can't wait to do a large piece on this one. After all, "threatened", "endangered", "at risk" and the ever popular "imperiled" are the most used slogans at the magazine.

From AFP:

Birds that depend upon the ocean for survival "are among the most vulnerable birds on Earth to climate change," warned the report put together by the US Fish and Wildlife Service in coordination with several environmental groups.

If you use a BBQ grill on the 4th of July, you are taking part in this horrendous genocide. And, yes, liberals have tried to outlaw grilling. I'm not making this up! Don't the lefties know climate change has jumped the shark?

I pulled the following list of classic environmental whacko-socialist slogans straight from the bird story. Looks like they got 'em all:

threats
stresses
extinction
vulnerable
risk
climate change
disappear
endangered
urgency

I have a solution to the "problem". Instead of killing the birds slowly, as far-left nutjobs claim we are, why not just shoot them out of the sky and get it over with so I don't have to hear the liberal whining anymore? Then Tom Hanks and Stephen Leftyberg can do a TV miniseries to remind us how awful we are.


The entire Shoot It™ series can be found here.

Shoot It: useless frog

The BBC tries to pull heartstrings with a piece about a frog that "communicates with other frogs by semaphore in the form of gentle hand waves." Gentle hand waves? The thing is probably stricken with indigestion and is motioning for a Pepcid.

Hilary Jeffkins added: "The whole species is now extinct in Panama - this was one of the last remaining populations. It's final wave was in our programme."

I almost cried until I remembered we were talking about a frog. Hmmmm. One type of frog is no longer found in Panama, and the BBC thinks we should mourn. No, thanks. As icing on this weird cake, the hyper-emotional final sentence has "It's" used incorrectly.

The story claims the frog is dying out because of a fungus. I'm surprised the BBC didn't try to pin the blame on global warming or George Bush. Surely this must be the first innocent, cute creature to vanish because of something other than capitalism?

Shoot It™ series here.

Shoot It: Houston

A homeowner shot and killed a burglar. No charges are expected. God bless Texas.

"I have no regrets at all on his part," Barone said. "I feel sorry for his family."

In the weeks leading up to the shooting, several neighborhood cars were broken into and the shooter's dog was poisoned. I'd betcha anything all of these problems cease now that the worthless bastard has been offed.

Related news from USA Today include Castle Doctrine in Mississippi:

The "Castle Doctrine " law removes the requirement that citizens first must seek a safe retreat from an intruder before using deadly force. Similar laws have passed in 19 other states in two years, in large part because of lobbying by the National Rifle Association (NRA).

A recent spate of shootings in Jackson, the capital, has reinvigorated public discussion of the law. In one week in late September and early October, four Jackson homeowners fired shots at four suspected burglars. Two of the suspected intruders were killed and a third was injured.

And this opinion piece written by an NRA veep:

The policy that USA TODAY derided in a 1994 editorial as "one of the most cockamamie clichés in the pro-gun lexicon" halted unspeakable carnage in a Colorado Springs megachurch on Sunday.

Colorado's right-to-carry law — which USA TODAY fiercely opposed as "an old West remedy" — empowered volunteer security guard Jeanne Assam to stop a mass murderer inside her crowded church.

Shoot It™ series here.

What's worse, birders, birds, or cat lovers?

The case: An avid "birder" shoots and kills a feral cat known to stalk and kill endangered birds. He has been arrested and will stand trial. From the New York Liberal Times:

Mr. Stevenson, 54, does not deny using a .22-caliber rifle fitted with a scope to kill the cat, which lived under the San Luis Pass toll bridge, linking Galveston to the mainland. He also admits killing many other cats on his own property, where he operates a bed and breakfast for some of the estimated 500,000 birders who come to the island every year.

And this:

The case has prompted emotional commentary on the Internet. Cat enthusiast blogs have called Mr. Stevenson a “murderous fascist” and a “diabolical monster.” Birding blogs have defended his right to dispense with a “terrible menace” and have set up funds to help pay for his defense.

In an interview in a courthouse elevator during a break in the trial, Mr. Stevenson said heatedly that cat fanciers who have condemned him and sent him hateful correspondence “think birds are nothing but sticks.” “This is about wild species disappearing from your planet,” he said, adding, “I did what I had to do.”

I can't decide who I like less, bird fanatics or cat fanatics. For the record, I like cats, but don't have a problem with a feral cat getting blasted into tomorrow. I despise birds because they're plague carriers, make a lot of noise, and shit everywhere. And I especially dislike birders -- because they actually spend time watching birds chirp and sit around. I'd rather have my skin pulled off and then have a entire package of Morton's salt poured onto my skinless, red, pulsating body.

The guy on trial is not only a birder, he's upset about wild species disappearing from our planet. Does he mourn the sabre-toothed tiger, or the other million species that now exist only in the fossil record? Species come and go. Why cry about it?

If anything, the guy shot the wrong animal. He should have put the crosshairs on the birds.

I hope all sides lose this court case.

They really need to man up

Other Shoot It pieces are here.

Climate swindlers put walrus on pedestal

The Great Climate Swindle is cited for changes in walrus behavior in Alaska. Fox News:

Thousands of walrus have appeared on Alaska's northwest coast in what conservationists are calling a dramatic consequence of global warming melting the Arctic sea ice.

Alaska's walrus, especially breeding females, in summer and fall are usually found on the Arctic ice pack. But the lowest summer ice cap on record put sea ice far north of the outer continental shelf, the shallow, life-rich shelf of ocean bottom in the Bering and Chukchi seas.

I think that brings to 2,725,051 the number of things that are going straight to hell because of industrialization. I wonder if the global warming alarmists would be more likely to buy, or sell, the Brooklyn Bridge? I guess we can officially ad "walrus geography" to the Warmlist.

I can answer any questions about walruses:

Chihuahua runs amok at crash scene

A story in the San Diego Union-Tribune, which covers a four-car crash and a deranged Chihuahua, has prompted the third installment of Shoot It™:

Adding to the chaos was an upset Chihuahua that was in one of the cars involved.

A community service officer from the Sheriff's Department placed the little dog inside his van, where the dog went to the bathroom and then bit the officer.

The dog was then placed inside the ambulance with its owner, but the dog again became unruly and jumped out.

The dog raced down Vista Way through the crash scene, with deputies, animal control officers and firefighters chasing after.

One Vista firefighter tripped and fell, doing an action-movie roll on the ground before popping back to his feet.

Does it really need to be said? The dog should have been shot. The entire Shoot It™ series can be found here.

'Snowy plover' getting way too much attention

It amazes me that people will go to such lengths to save a small creature. Will the earth be a lesser place if the 'snowy plover' moves on? San Diego Union-Tribune:

The plan, finalized about six years after it was first proposed, pegged the cost of implementation at $150 million. If it is successful, the western snowy plover could be removed from the Endangered Species Act list by 2047.

Some environmentalists supported the federal announcement but warned that voluntary efforts alone won't save the plover.

I would ask that you re-read the excerpt. This is outrageous! What a complete waste of time, money, and energy. We're talking about a sparrow with a somewhat more eloquent name. Let's just shoot it...

Shoot It&trade

Announcing Shoot It™, a new series by The Shaved Ape. A hummingbird is featured in this first installment. From AP:

Birdwatchers are descending on a rural area near this southern Wisconsin community following the sighting of what is believed to be a green-breasted mango, a type of hummingbird commonly seen in parts of Mexico and Central America.

"It's really just an astonishing occurrence," Chuck Hagner, editor of Birder's World magazine published in Brookfield, said of the bird being spotted this far north.

Along with shooting the "green-breasted mango", Chuck should probably be shot, as well.