Saturday, February 17, 2007

Liberal beliefs

U.S. foreign policy assumed human form and piloted airliners into the World Trade Center. It's not clear why the ghostlike apparitions spoke Arabic.

Guns are manufactured with small, malevolent brains.

Giant, paper mache puppets will actually have an impact on foreign policy.

Because Cuba has nationalized healthcare, Fidel Castro is a nice guy.

George Bush is just like Hitler, but Abraham Lincoln, who suspended Habeus Corpus, condoned real torture, and closed down newspapers critical of him, is a great man.

Poor people are not lazy.

People who say they want to commit genocide should have a nuclear bomb because George Bush doesn't want them to have it.

A rain shower can't be predicted more than three days in advance, but a 100-year, doomsday climate scenario is accurate.

Just thinking about smoking a cigarette should be made illegal.

Dick Cheney is the Man Behind the Curtain. Behind him is another curtain, behind which sits a group of Zionists.

Cindy Sheehan is sane.

The government should raise our children.

If our energy sources emit even a single ounce of CO2, we should abandon civilization and return to the days of hunting and gathering.

Universal health care is free, and the government can run it better than the private sector.

1 comment:

mondotti said...

You forgot Big business and their profits, I mean windfall profits ( I almost forgot this catchy liberal term )are evil and they are all out to get us (as they make our lives better), profiting off the backs of the poor and down trodden. But the government is an all caring, all feeling, noble, trust worthy entity that we should always seek to make right these phantom inequities.