Thursday, May 18, 2006

Rare chestnut tree discovered

The most popular story at Yahoo News is about a rare tree found in the woods. There are few things I care less about than rare or endangered trees.

Here are the top five things to do with the rare chestnut tree:

5. Chop it down and make rare, chestnut spanking paddles.

4. Carve it into a cheezy Indian totem pole.

3. Hang a liberal from its branches. (I'm only kidding...)

2. Leave it standing so we can film Treehuggers Gone Wild.

1. Chop it down and make toilet paper for the people of India. It's about time they stopped using the left hand.

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2 comments:

donnab said...

mocking a rarity like this tree only serves to degrade nature in all its limited capacities. And to say, joking or not, to use the tree to hang liberals from is downright appalling, Mr. Long. Dont you think its time to stop putting down liberals and try working with them to find real solutions to the problems we all face instead of ridiculling them?

The Shaved Ape said...

I hope you're having a good time.