Five items to make you laugh...
5. The French are pompous assholes, and they always have been. Look at Charles DeGaulle -- a man who was incompetent, cowardly, and very arrogant. There must have been some je ne sais quois in his fois gras, if you know what I mean. The latest evidence of French nonsense is a new report clearing Lance Armstrong of all doping charges. The same report also "blamed anti-doping authorities for misconduct in dealing with the American cyclist." You know, it always amazes me when I see intensely arrogant people, or countries or cultures, that have absolutely no reason to be. BBC.
4. A three-armed boy is to undergo surgery to become a two-armed boy. Whoa. Let's take a time-out. Don't his parents realize that when the bloke hits his teens, he'll be able to punch the clown while doing other things, like drive a car, play poker, or surf the web? The third arm is the charm. BBC.
3. John Spencer, former Yonkers mayor, is the Republican choice to challenge Hillarious Clinton in the 2006 New York Senate race. I have no idea who Spencer is, but I hope he wins. Anyone but Hillarious! WNBC.
2. A convicted murderer wants taxpayers to pay for a sex change. Just shoot him (it). Tax dollars shouldn't be spent on anything like this. The Houston Testicle.
1. DaVinci's Mona Lisa painting speaks. A Japanese acoustics expert has determined what the voice would sound like for the model used for the Mona Lisa. Of course, the first thing she said was, "Take out the garbage. You need to mow the lawn. Why can't you be more sensitive?" Reuters.