Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Ted Kennedy dies

A far-left powermonger has died. Ted Kennedy was the last of Joe Kennedy's womanizing, alcoholic sons.

Reactions around the nation

1. Distilleries are flying their flags at half mast

2. Under construction is the largest coffin ever made by the Nantucket Casket Company

3. The Kopechne family is throwing a party

4. Politicians of all types are pretending they liked and respected him

5. The Boston Golf Club is once again putting out the fragile tableware

6. The mass selloff of brewery stocks forced regulators to close the NYSE early

7. A new wing is being constructed at the Smithsonian to house Ted's liver

1 comment:

TommyTom said...

Thank you! Finally someone speaks the truth. I was born in '81 and have less than full knowledge of the man's life and accomplishments, but I'm still fully aware that he is not the political juggernaut-saint the shameless, ultra-leftist, hypocrite media and rich-off-the-healthcare-industry's-kickbacks politicians have been making him out to be