Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Tijuana calling

Wow I'm really looking forward to banging a prostitute in Tijuana. I know that's very uncouth to say, but I ain't had me a piece in some time. It's about $30, according to a friend of mine who makes a regular trip down there. It's legal, and you need an industrial strenght condom, but WTF?

I just can't justify the expenditure of time and energy trying to pork an honest church girl. Will she call, won't she call? Not an issue with a TJ whore. And I can't see myself spending time with a woman who considers shopping a hobby and doesn't understand that driving slow in the left lane infuriates all intelligent Shaved Apes.

I just can't cope with garbage like that.

Even if you went through all the trouble of wining and dining, or persecuted yourself by getting married and having children, you're still paying for sex. In fact, if you took the aforementioned route, you'll pay much more than I plan to.

Honestly, sit down and calculate how much you've spent per lay with any given girl. How many meals, bottles of wine, the house, the jewelry. Come on, guys, a dime store calculator should be helping you make these key decisions.

Now where can I get an elbow-length surgical glove?

Expect a full report here after I close the deal. Just remember that the first one is a trial run. Later I can bring cameras and try to put things into holes where they don't belong.

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