Sunday, October 07, 2012

NFL player submits "non-human" urine for drug test

An NFL player submitted "non-human" urine for a drug test. This raises two fairly interesting questions:

1. Did the guy actually think he could get away with it? What kind of IQ are we talking about?

2. Where did he get the "non-human" urine? We can only guess. A dog? A cat? A hamster with a weirdly large bladder? And just how does one collect urine from an animal? Surely any animal would be fantastically unwilling to piss right into a bottle. I'd kind of like to see how that was done. There must be a fine line between creativity and cruelty.

The player is DJ Williams of the Denver Broncos. FoxSports story here.

None of this is terribly surprising, considering this is the league where people who can afford a phalanx of armed guards walk into night clubs with loaded handguns (and shoot them off occasionally), and people who can afford 6,000,000 cab rides routinely drive drunk.

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