Sunday, December 04, 2011

California welcome wagon

All new residents of California should be issued an official welcoming basket containing unique gifts. No need to worry about the cost, because this state wastes money on unnecessary things all the time, such as a high-speed rail link between Bakersfield and Fresno, and $16 million to "study the harvest mouse."

Welcome Wagon, California Style

+ An ornate bong with "Welcome to California!" etching

+ Three pamphlets: 1) The Definitive Guide to Hugging Trees, 2) Prosperity Through Higher Taxation, and 3) How to Make Love to Delta Smelt

+ A Che Guevara T-shirt made by illegal aliens at American Apparel

+ Ballot form with the Democratic candidates conveniently pre-marked

+ Coupon for a tour of South Los Angeles in an armored car

+ Bicycle with a headlight and a built-in sense of entitlement for roads made for cars

+ Parka and a nose ring for visiting San Francisco

+ "Will Work For Food" sign to use at the corner of Cesar E. Chavez Blvd and Martin Luther King, Jr. Parkway (formerly Imperial White Male Highway)

+ Smelling salts to be used when shopping for a home

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