Thursday, June 03, 2010

The oil spill task list

BP executives are diligently working through their list of options:

1. Lower cement dome

2. Spread dispersants

3. Set fires on surface

4. Vaccuum up oil

5. Build sand berms

6. Pack well with mud and cement

7. Lower cement dome, part II

8. Use magic 8-ball

9. Use ouija board

10. Tell Michael Moore the oil tastes like a chocolate milkshake

11. Relax in a Galveston hotel room with hookers and cocaine and ignore the problem

12. Hire Google to spy on the leaking well

13. Cross fingers

14. Launch ad campaign promoting the virtues of tar beaches and pre-oiled shrimp

15. Ignore Obama's feeble politicization and threats

16. Sell BP stock and move to Panama

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