NPR cooking up new environmental scare

NPR is pushing hard to scare us about our water usage. This afternoon, as I innocently sipped a cup of coffee, the NPR commies told me I'm a bad person, though not in those words. They said that most people think they're drinking one cup of water when they drink one cup of coffee. Not so! It takes 140 liters to produce the coffee that goes into making a single cup. I wonder if they used the all-powerful climate modeling computers to determine that?

I feel ill. Destroying the planet and harming the helpless third-worlders was not what I intended. I swear! From now on I'm only going to have a thimble of coffee each day, and I'm going out into the street and pissing in an attempt to return some of the water that I've greedily consumed.

Thanks, NPR, for reminding us how awful we are and that a planet with trillions of gallons of water, all of which could be made potable, is dying in agony.