I'm not a smoker

I smoke cigarettes, but I'm not a smoker. We of the nicotine crowd have been hunted, over-taxed, and generally shit on for decades now. Yet drunks get a pass.

Why the disparity? The quasi-scientific field of psychology, and liberalism in general.

Perpetrators of bad behavior have become victims in the weird minds of liberals and their psychologist tools. Over the last 30 years drunks have ceased being responsible for destroying their families and themselves, and destroying property in car accidents and killing people they hit while behind the wheel. Why? Because they're not drunks, they suffer some disease they contracted, somehow, called alcoholism.

Alcoholism is a disease, didn't you know? Diseases are generally caught through the air, or when a contagion gets into the blood stream. "Alcoholism" is different, but liberals tell us it's still a "disease". By calling it a disease, the message is clear: it's not their fault. They're a victim of a disease, not a person who willfully made bad choices.

Well, fuckers, I'm exactly the same way. I'm not a smoker:

I caught a deadly disease called cigarettism.

Pity me and open a floodgate of good cheer and excuses and, most important of all, federal money to help me quit.

We smokers need a plan to gain public sympathy, just like the filthy drunks did.