Avatar better not suck

The LA Times practically guarantees I will love Avatar. In fact, there are dozens of articles about the movie at latimes.com. I've never seen so much hype, and this overkill reporting will probably kill it for me because it can't possibly live up to expectations. (See my review of Inglorious Basterds)

I will have to go and see it, though, because the movie allegedly demonstrates what a 3D film can be. All 3D movies so far, with no exceptions, suck. My pet theory is that the supposed $400 million sunk into Avatar was done to get people back into theaters. For instance, I would never go out among the Great Unwashed for this movie if it wasn't 3D.

From LA Times:

An extraordinary act of visual imagination, “Avatar” is not the first of the new generation of 3-D films, just as “Jazz Singer” was not the first time people had spoken on screen. But like the Al Jolson vehicle, it’s the one that’s going to energize audiences about the full potential of this medium.

That’s because to see “Avatar” is to feel like you understand filmmaking in three dimensions for the first time. In Cameron’s hands, 3-D is not the forced gimmick it’s often been, but a way to create an alternate reality and insert us so completely and seamlessly into it that we feel like we’ve actually been there, not watched it on a screen. If taking pleasure in spectacle and adventure is one of the reasons you go to the movies, this is something you won’t want to miss.

The article alludes to a weak story in the film, but not a bad one. It sounds as if it's the war between the U.S. and the Indians in the Black Hills, done up in a futuristic way. A strong army attacks a native population to have access to a valuable mineral. Chief Redcloud is now Chief Bluecloud.

I learned with Inglorious Basterds not to fall for dazzling reviews (are those fuckers taking bribes, or what?). Peter Bradshaw at the Guardian pegged Inglorious Bastereds, so I felt I had to see what he says about Avatar, even though calling up the Guardian in my browser makes me feel ill because they support Islamic terrorism. Bradshaw:

But perhaps we're all looking in the wrong direction, frantically inspecting Avatar for evidence of James Cameron's hi-tech machismo and undiminished box office clout. Strip away from this movie the director's massive reputation, and you have a truly weird story about an aggressive futureworld corporation bankrolling avatar-technology so that human beings can insinuate themselves into the lives of aliens to seduce them. What an indie-freaky idea it is – and that is what makes it an experience.

I will go see the movie after the idiot crowds die down, maybe in two weeks.