Breaking down the Obama mythology: For liberal eyes only

Because I love liberals I'm going to clear up some popular myths about your god.

1. Barack Hussein Obama can't really walk on water. This was meant tongue-in-cheek. He sinks like the rest of us, unless he's wearing water wings.

2. Hussein is half white. This diminishes his status as an absolute underdog. Sorry, Libs! You may have to look for an even weaker candidate to support.

3. When Hussein said in Berlin, "The walls between the countries with the most and those with the least cannot stand," he revealed himself as the full-blown communist he is. Commies don't believe in nationalism, and wish to redistribute wealth from those who have it to those who don't -- and so does Hussein!

You libs should stop calling yourself liberal. Earthworms have more in common with classical liberalism than you. Choose a more accurate word to describe your worldview: communist.

4. Organizing communities may give you a nice, liberal hard-on, but this is hardly worthy experience for a president. If he's so good at "organizing communities," maybe he should stick with it.

5. Hussein doesn't really play in a platinum-selling rock band. This was foisted on the public by the fawning Soledad O'Brien on CNN and the aging hippies at the Huffington Communist Post.

6. Hussein's wife was not proud of the United States of America when we put a man on the moon, nor is she proud that we give away more money to the world's poor than most other nations combined. She was, however, proud of her country for the first time when her husband pulled ahead of Hillary Clinton in the opinion polls. You go, girl!

7. Hussein can't actually shoot lightning from his fingertips. That was a rumor started in the communist journal, The New York Times.

8. Hussein talks a nice piece about energy independence, but in reality he learned little about energy while organizing communities.

9. Even if Hussein becomes president, the Great Communist Utopia will not come about. This is a dream for you, but a nightmare for people who enjoy living free, and therefore it will never come to pass.

10. Taking one quick trip to Iraq isn't quite enough to prepare Hussein to conduct foreign policy for the richest, most powerful -- and influential -- country in the history of the world. I am really sorry to break this to you. I know you thought it might be okay after every liberal media employee in America followed him like a puppy dog on his publicity stunt and then made clear their own feelings -- that Obama understands foreign policy. Sadly he understands foreign policy about as well as any liberal: take the position that weakens America the most -- run away when a war isn't quick and easy, refuse drilling even when the economy is falling apart due to rising oil prices, and put more stock in making people happy than doing the right thing.