I'm very happy with my HP laptop, except for the peculiar "health check" feature, which is for idiots.
No. 1, I disabled it, but it keeps coming back to life. Just when I'm doing something intensive, like editing video, it kicks in. Motherfuckers.
No. 2, it claims my system is in "poor" health because I haven't yet downloaded a new version of HP's quicklaunch buttons. These are stupid and I disabled them and will never download a new version because my IQ is above 65. Motherfuckers.
No. 3, when it begins running (against my will), the app doesn't show up under "apps" or "processes" in the Task Manager. Motherfuckers.
Is HP trying to convince me to switch brands?
2 comments:
Dear Meester Long,
We at HP ran across your post about our PC. We kindly thank you for purchasing our product. We are saddened to hear of your complaints about our wonderful HP Health Check feature and our HP Quicklaunch buttons. Be assured, Meester Long, these theengs are very important to you overall. They are good theengs. Wonderful, erection-inducing, cum-gushing good theengs.
We modeled these features after the fictional computer HAL in "2001: A Space Odyssey." If you will let your laptop do what it wants to do, everything would be just fine. It is the folly of humans to want to interfere with such excellent, time-tested and superior HP technology.
We at HP are working hard to bring more efficient and less user-friendly options to our customers every day.
We again kindly thank you for choosing HP as your laptop.
Kindly,
Sangwineeesh Suriptothangolowoon
HP Tech/Help
Fojolutahoogowih, India
Very funny, Habib. LOL.
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