Monday, December 17, 2007

Bicyclers are Nazis

Nazi bicycle propaganda

Nuremburg rally, 1937

Bike-Nazis don't go for Sunday afternoon rides in the country. The solitary dude who makes a trip to 7/11 for smokes is not a Bike-Nazi. No, the Bike-Nazis are the bastards who feel entitled to roads built for cars. They usually ride in the middle of a car lane, challenging motorists to run them down. Their self-righteous attitude is absurd.

L.J. Williamson of the LA Times has found a way to complain about "climate change" and a perceived slight to bicyclers at the same time. He has killed two Socialist birds with one stone!

    Touring the Festival of Lights in Griffith Park is an exercise in irony. Entering the mile-long display, staged every year by the Los Angeles Department of Water and Power, the first thing visitors see is a sign announcing that the festival is "going green." If you're driving the south-to-north route, that is. Maybe if you're walking southbound it would be the last thing you see. But who won't see the sign at all? Bicyclists.

Oh, the horror!

    The DWP gave cyclists the run of the light show for one measly night, Nov. 19, technically two days before the "festival" began. And of course it wasn't during the prime Thanksgiving-to-Christmas window when most people have their holiday groove on. During the rest of the festival, bicycles are banned, even though the light displays line Crystal Springs Drive, a public street with a striped bike lane.

Look, Ace, bikes are banned because they're a pain in the ass for the rest of us (the majority). Take your little bikes, your spandex shorts, and plastic shoes, and go to a bike trail. If you want more trails, pay for them yourself.

    Displaying some dim awareness of the folly of barring cyclists from a public roadway, the DWP, in a meager attempt at appeasement, added the solitary night for bikers. (The festival was given over to pedestrians, by contrast, Nov. 21-25.) One stingy night of right, however, doesn't cancel out a month of wrong.

I guarantee Williams was wearing spandex pants and plastic shoes when he wrote that.

Not a Bike-Nazi. He doesn't need to be run down.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

A few things you should know:

1. My name is "Williamson," not "Williams."

2. I'm a female, not a male as you incorrectly assume.

3. I fucking hate spandex.


As a taxpayer, I did pay for the trail myself -- the one that already exists on the road in question, with the words "bike lane" in the middle of it. Nowhere did I say that I believe cyclists should ride in the middle of motorist lanes, nor did I argue that there should be more bike trails -- I just said we should be permitted to use the one that already exists. But the fact that you misspelled my name not once, but twice, shows me you don't really bother to read very carefully.

Heil Hitler,
L.J. Williamson

The Shaved Ape said...

A liberal by any other name sounds just as screechy...

I'm terribly embarrassed by my own post now. Because of your incredibly intelligent and reasonable response, I may even resist the urge to squash Bike-Nazis with my car in the future. You may have just saved a thousand lives.

I want you to be aware that this will be a colossal sacrifice, as I promised my children we could run some down this afternoon. I don't know how I will console them.

Unknown said...

Sorry Don, but I must protest that this is not an intelligent response...
Just a correction Mr. Williams ( You sound like a bull-dyke so even though Don got your name and gender wrong I think it suits you much better) Anyway.. as a taxpayer you paid for a mere fraction of the bike path, the other tax payers that were coerced or lied to regarding climate change and "going green" had to pay the rest.. A typical Liberals perspective of entitlement on parade..
Don, it’s too bad you don’t have a picture of Mr. Williams to superimpose on the Karl Marx climate change drum.. Maybe on a bicycle even? Mr. Williams, would you be so kind as to send one in?