Hippie roundup

The Shaved Ape goes into the Hippie Wasteland so you don't have to

I hope you enjoy this collection of funny nonsense from the hippie blogs...

DailyKos

Restoring habeas corpus has tickled somebody at Kos:

Congressional Democrats now have the opportunity to undo the most egregious damage they've done to the Constitution with the Military Commissions Act. While the ACLU and other organizations are working to have the entire Act repealed, at the very least restoring habeas is a critical start.

I guess Lincoln can do it for the entire country, but Bush can't do it for some bloodthirsty cockroaches who can't be classified as civilians or prisoners of war. This is cognitive dissonance at its finest -- and good ole stupidity.

In another piece of faux outrage, a Kos Koolaid drinker has found the needle in a haystack -- a mainstream media story that doesn't suck Democrat cock. Here's their reaction:

OK, you have just read -- in order -- the first, second, third and fourth paragraphs of the AP's story. The last one I showed you was Rep. Jeb Hensarling -- who was also responsible, by the way, for hawking the ridiculous attacks about the Sergeant at Arms' request that the Speaker utilize a larger plane -- saying, "I don't have any facts."

I have to give kudos to the KosKreeps. They found such a rare thing as an AP story critical of their precious Regressive bowel-movement. They seem cheered. Good for them!

Bong Alert™ for a writer called "devilstower":

Imagine a land that has, on both the east and the west, large Democratic-leaning cities with diverse populations. Between these densely populated regions the more rural areas tend toward the red end of purple, particularly in parts of the south, where the election map practically glows crimson. Imagine that this place is led by an imbecilic executive whose popularity ratings are lower than any measured in decades, and that the 2006 elections saw an election where Democrats gained at every level. Have that place well in mind?

There's plenty more:

Though Missourians elected Claire McCaskill as our senator in 2006, to replace the weasely Jim Talent, and gains were made at the local level, Republicans managed to hold onto a 21 vote edge in the state house, and a 21-13 edge in the state senate. And to top if off, Matt Blunt -- idiot son of the already none-too-swift Republican Whip, the man who never met a French joke he didn't like -- remains on his throne.

Witty writing, paranoia, clutching tightly at victim status -- this bit from "devilstower" has something for every hippie. I wonder if he has made any replicas of Devil's Tower in his mashed potatoes? I'm guessing affirmative.

White Noise Insanity

This is probably the worst hippie blog I've seen on the web. It's so far off the deep end, it's kind of funny. I feel sad for it's owner. Here she's using the FBI bust of the cockroaches planning to attack Fort Dix as a way to -- wait for it, guess now, be patient -- attack Bush!

How come we have Islamic militants who are devoted to Osama bin Laden in our country and conspiring to kill American soldiers????? Huh, Bush? I thought you said we’re killing the terrorists in Iraq, so they don’t hop on a boat and row across the Atlantic to kill us!!!! Oh that’s right. While George W. Bush has been killing Iraqi children in Iraq and while there’s a civil war going on in the middle of his illegal occupation, he’s pissed off the terrorists to the point that they’ve grown in number and are now in our country.

Not only is this stuff dull and pointless, it's childish. Like most of these hippie blogs, the wench in charge of this one seems to go further down the rabbit hole as she goes along. Here she's blaming Bush for a slow response in Kansas after the storms:

Heckava job, Georgie Bush! Your fake war in Iraq has caused America the inability to protect herself! Happy now? I bet you are. You and your neo-Mafia want nothing more than for America to burn while you build your own nation in Iraq, so you can be king of it someday and so your corporate whores will have another place to pilfer and plunder for eternity and all of it is being done under the protection of US soldiers! You’re sick in the head, Georgie. You don’t deserve a 28% approval rating at this point. A 2.8% seems to be a better reflection. Yep, you lost two towns under your leadership, Georgie. Pathetic.

The woman behind White Noise Insanity calls herself "Kay", and I feel embarrassed for her. Remember when the hippies tried to blame Bush for a slow response to the Katrina disaster? They said all the National Guard troops were in Iraq, when each of the affected states had between 10,000 and 18,000 available troops. Hippies had a good opportunity to learn something then, but promptly forgot how this stuff works when the tornado struck the Kansas town. Who will give me odds they won't blame Bush for the next natural disaster?

Crooks and Liars

One of the little contributors to this blog parrots the tired old line that being against those who blow up planes, trains, and themselves in the pursuit of 72 virgins in the afterlife, is a product of "fear, hatred and ignorance":

Air America Radio talk show host Cenk Uygur of The Young Turks joined Crystal McCrary Anthony and Niger Innis on tonight's "Paula Zahn Now" to discuss the hysteria surrounding a lawsuit being filed by Pastor O'Neal Dozier and others to keep a mosque from being built in a predominately black neighborhood in Pompano Beach, Florida. Cenk points out the absurdity of the lawsuit and how it is driven by fear, hatred and ignorance.

And another one is blaming the Iraq war for the problems in Kansas. I get the feeling that liberal bloggers all have the same sticky note attached to the side of their monitors.

The governor is not to blame here. She didn't start the war, and she didn't decide to send to send the National Guard equipment to Iraq. And despite her constant efforts to get that equipment back in order to deal with disasters like last weekend's tornado, it's still her fault. Have they no shame? (Another rhetorical question.)

I would have been confused without the parenthetical explanation.

Democratic Underground

There's a post supporting hate crimes legislation. I'm not fully decided on this issue, but one thing is certain: a hate crime is a thought crime. George Orwell, anyone?

I hope you realize that by railing against hate-crime laws, you're on quite a slippery slope. If you believe that there should be no protections in place for minorities against crimes committed on the sole basis of who we are, then be prepared to explain why we shouldn't eliminate all "special rights" laws, such as protection in housing and employment.

All thought crimes can be dealt with under existing law. For instance, if somebody beats up a minority, there are plenty of ways to put them in prison. No thought crimes are needed. I wouldn't expect a hippie to understand that.

Firedoglake

The first post I found on this hippie rag acknowledged there are jihadis, and more amazingly, that some want to kill us. There were strings attached, of course.

Well, after weeks of trying to pin every car-backfire, school massacre, and kid with a cherry bomb on phony cabals of Muslim Fanatic Terrorists, Righty Blogistan and the Em Ess Em have finally got themselves a group of real live jihadi.

Bong Alert™:

Great Merciful Ashurbanipal on toast points. James Lileks, Mister Whiny Right-Wing Entitlement Boy, is having a hissy fit because his home perch and sugar tit, the Minneapolis StarTribune, is taking him off the right-wing blowhard beat and forcing him to — quel horreur — Do. Actual. Journalism, something he readily admits he doesn't do, has never done, and probably can't do.

I defy anyone to write in such a manner without being under the influence of strong drugs. Hunter S. Thompson couldn't do it, and neither can the Firedoglake moron.

Wow, I haven't seen any Lieberman Loathing™ in a very long time. Leave it to Firedoglake to revert to an old talking point:

Proponents of keeping Lieberman in his position of seniority argue that he would switch parties if it was taken away. If the Democrats take one more seat in 2008, I wonder what they will say. A lot of things that should be happening aren't because Lieberman is chairman of a very important committee and he is keeping them from looking into GOP corruption on a variety of fronts.

Rising Hegemon

Here's hippiedom in all its glory. Bill O'Reilly follows the Soros money train, particularly how he is trying to buy U.S. leftist politics, and the hippies rush to his defense:

It's disgusting, and no person with an ounce of integrity would peddle, or be allowed to peddle on the public airwaves, such bigoted garbage.

He (it?) calls O'Reilly's outing of Soros a "pathetic conspiratorial smearing." Oh, my. Somebody's agitated.

And here he is lamenting the Sarkozy victory in France:

I have to cop to not following your elections too closely. But now I read this article and wonder if you learned anything from our experience these last few years. Bush and Newt Gingrich like Sarkozy. That's right: Bush and Newt Gingrich. Easily two of the most loathed men in America like your president. That should have told you to run from this guy faster than Bush ran from New Orleans after his post-Katrina photo op.

I believe the French have learned a lot from the American experience. Muslims are attacking everywhere in the world, including places like Paris, Lyons, and Marseilles. The media -- at least here -- likes to call them "youths", but the French know who they are. During the first round of rioting, which the cockroaches brought on themselves, Sarkozy called them "scum". And he won the presidency with relative ease. The French know exactly what they're getting: a president who won't cave in to criminals. And good for them.

TalkLeft

Here's yet another one who is very quick, too quick perhaps, to point out there is no connection between Al-Qaeda and the Fort Dix six. Any connection, the hippies believe, would make Bush look right, and the hippies can't tolerate that. He's wrong about everything, and causes most of the hurricanes and tornadoes in the world. He is the cause of terrorism, too, in the rare instances hippies choose to acknowledge terrorism.

Yesterday I wrote about the FBI's acknowledgment that there was no known connection between those charged in the Fort Dix case and al-Qaida.

After all, they trained not in Afghanistan but in the Poconos.

Let me see if I've got this. Because the jihadi scum trained in the Poconos, Bush is still bad. Okay, whatever. This is truly pointless. I'll say what I assume is on everyone's mind: Who gives a flying fuck where they trained? They're Muslims who were preparing to kill en masse in the name of Allah. There is no other way to spin this, you dumb hippies! Pointing out that they didn't train in Afghanistan means nothing, to anyone.

My DDs

Here's a far-left blog dedicated to the creator's own tits, apparently. Gotta love that. Front and center we find a celebration of cut-n-run and some bashing of anyone who believes the United States should actually win a war.

Congressional Republicans have received fairly strong coverage over indications that their currently unwavering support for President Bush's neverending war in Iraq could wane come September should noticeable improvements not be made. But though it's quite apparent to many in the Netroots that this is merely another stall tactic by Republicans to keep the war going in perpetuity, perhaps nothing can make this fact more clear to the American public than reports today that the administration is intent on sending another 35,000 American troops to Iraq in August.

There's much more cut-n-run love at the DD blog:

One of the things I like about this plan is that it has a great name: "the short leash." That is certainly an improvement over earlier frames for Democratic Iraq plans, such as "slow bleed" for the original Murtha plan. It also has the advantage of forcing Republicans and the Bush administration to keep justifying the war through several votes and public hearings in the coming months.

I could have saved the writer a lot of hunting and pecking: the Democrats have no plan for Iraq except to run away like yellow bastards. What that "plan" is called makes no difference. Only hippie bloggers are fooled by the nomenclature of cowardice.

What would a hippie be if he wasn't constantly vigilant for racist conspiracies?

This is something I've had a number of conversations about with black consultants and operatives in the Democratic Party. There's a pervasive feeling that the plum jobs tend to go to white people who have been around for a long time and are in the club. This clubbiness is why elites don't accept genuine populist progressives as legitimate actors in the process, and it has a racial element highlighted by this article.

Every time I hear about something like this, I think of what Jesse Jackson said after touring the Katrina devastation in New Orleans. How could I forget? I laughed so hard I spit out my 7-up all over my monitor. "This place looks like the hull of a slave ship." Guffaw!

Liberal Values

This is a strange name for a blog, since liberal values are questionable at best. Like the value of turning criminals into victims and giving them light sentences, while advocating disarming the law-abiding segment of the public. Ted Nugent calls this the "braindead celebration of unarmed helplessness." Ted's a good man.

A hippie calling himself "Ron Chusid" believes that the case of the Fort Dix jihadis "is more proof that John Kerry was right." Give me a second. It will take both hands to lift my jaw up off the floor. John Kerry ("Is this where I get me a huntin' license") wasn't right about anything. I read parts of every speech the idiot gave leading up to his embarrassing defeat, and every single one of them mentioned the need to make our friends and allies like us. It was the central theme to his candidacy.

As a discussion forum linking here already noted today, the arrest of six men in a plot to kill soldiers at Fort Dix, is more proof that Kerry was right on fighting terrorism. During the 2004 campaign, Kerry argued that fighting terrorism was “far less of a military operation and far more of an intelligence-gathering law enforcement operation. Republicans attacked him, but Kerry has repeatedly been proven right. The major successful actions against terrorism have been the results of police and intelligence action–not even requiring illegal wiretaps or torture.

In this next bit, I found at least some common ground with "Ron". When Mr. Huntin' License was defeated, he blamed it on the inability to get out the message, not the message itself. It never occurred to Kerry that a majority of people felt his message was nonsense. Here's what Ron says:

TechRepublican.com discusses the down turn in support for Republicans and blames it on the Republicans failing to utilize the internet as effectively as Democrats. If I might give them a bit of advice: a bad message will fail regardless of how well you use the internet to promote it.

I usually use the argument against hippies, but I will give credit where credit is due. When you get beat, you get beat. Suck it up and move on.

Here's a bit about the children of Republicans becoming Democrats. I don't know if there's any truth to that, and I don't care. There is something in this that interested me, though:

Last year there were stories on the fertility gap, warning that conservatives would outnumber liberals in the future since conservatives typically have more children than liberals. Despite the data supporting this data, I had little fear, feeling confident that humanity would move forward as historically “the overall trend has been for liberty to win out over tyranny and reason to be victorious over superstition.”

This hippie logic always escapes me, or, more likely, it's deeply flawed and that's why it makes no sense. When one challenges and defeats a tyrant, how does that make one a tyrant? And, when Bill Clinton used the NSA to wiretap phone lines, liberals didn't mind, but when Bush does it for the purpose of finding international Muslim terrorists bent on mass murder, they say the sky is falling. I'd like to send the hippies to a deprogramming camp. Nothing too strenuous. Just a weekend boot camp or something.