Why did the chicken cross the road?

This one is making the rounds via email again...

Why did the chicken cross the road?

John Kerry:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now and will remain against it.

Pat Buchanan:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American!

Martha Stewart:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

Dr. Suess:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

Grandpa:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road and that was good enough.

Barbara Walters:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

Bill Gates:
I have just released eChicken2006, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&;>(C/...Reboot.

Albert Einstein:
Did the chicken cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

Bill Clinton:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

Al Gore:
I invented the chicken.

Colonel Sanders:
Did I miss one?

Ted Kennedy:
I need another drink.