Tuesday, December 26, 2006

The Shaved Ape Guide to Islamic Headgear

1. The Niqab allows the oppressed woman to look upon the world with her own eyes. This is quite dangerous, as males may lose control and attack the woman.

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2. The Burqa is for the troublesome woman. Through the mesh over the eyes, an oppressed woman can see just well enough to raise the man's children, cook for him, and follow any orders the superior sex may want to give.

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3. An Indonesian favorite, the Beekeper uniform allows great freedom of movement for the oppressed woman of Islam. This particular woman was flogged for showing her arms.

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4. Males wear the Ski Mask because they know their terrorist acts are morally wrong. By wearing it, their shame is reduced. It is also useful for the ski slopes.

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5. The Trash Can was inspired by a popular children's show. Islamic women living in war zones have a better chance of surviving trips to the market while wearing this innovative tool of oppression. The foot pedal opens the lid, which facilitates feeding the oppressed woman.

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6. The Goaltender ensemble is for oppressed women living in cold climates. Serving the men can be a breeze, even when the sidewalks are covered with ice and dangerous obstacles.

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5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think it's funny how those on the right go on about "oppressed women" only when it comes to Islam, when the same people will go around and refer to women's rights activists as "feminazis". I'm not accusing you of doing that because I'm not sure if you do or not, just pointing out that many conservatives contradict themselves in that respect.

The Shaved Ape said...

You're right that some righties do that. I'm not a member of the right, although I do lean that direction on several issues. One needn't be on the right to be against those on the left.

I think it's funny that those on the left are fanatical about standing up for "equality for all" -- a nice, classically liberal stance -- in the U.S., but give the Muslim world a complete pass for horrendous crimes against humanity -- against women, gays, non-Muslims, etc., etc., etc.

Anonymous said...

What I find funny is how the term "feminazis" is twisted and used by the left as some sort of "see I told you so" regarding the lefts views on conservatives which is that we are Sexist, Racist, bigoted Homophobes. When the reality is nothing can be father from the truth. Let me school those about how the term feminazi was used..Not that it matters to the left, but the word feminazi was used only to lampoon the militant feminist (not women in general) that think men are natural born predators and predominantly for their militant views on snuffing out life (abortion) no matter how barbaric the procedure (Nazi comparison) such as late term abortion where a full or late term baby, which is without a doubt, capable of surviving at this point out of the mother’s womb is killed.

Anonymous said...

you know what? not all hijab wearing women are forced to wear it.

I dont like it,but if a woman wants to,then up to her.Also,in the Peninsular Arab countries,the hijab is cultural.


also,why do you give a damn? Are you a saviour fighter? if you are,I can understand.But I dont think you are.

I think your just some arrogant,narcissitic prick.Picking on Muslims to feel good about yourself.Loser.Fuck off!

The Shaved Ape said...

Wow, it only took me two years to discover the last comment.

You're right, not all Arab women are forced to wear head coverings. And in an opinion poll in Jordan, one of the most "enlightened" of Arab countries, nearly 60% of women believe a husband can beat his wife.

Mubarak gets "re-elected" with nearly 100% of the vote, every time.

Saddam Hussein's title was President.

Get the picture, idiot?

I'm not a "saviour fighter", whatever that is. I just have no problem calling a diseased culture a diseased culture.