Not really "close," but Orange County isn't too far away from the fires. I hope Bush uses extremely bad judgment by handing me a blank check like he's doing for Katrina victims.
If I get displaced, I'm going to blame all the black people working in the federal government of trying to commit racial genocide.
I may have an opportunity for some looting, too. I'll pass over canned goods and bottled water in favor of plasma TVs, shoes, and sports jerseys, of course, but with Celine Dijon crying in support of me, I can't lose! I just need a chance to touch those things once!
If I get interviewed on "the TV" I'll do my best impression of inbred, illiterate Katrina victims from Nawlins. I'm already practicing: "It don't make me no nevermind. We be fuhgotten by da gubment."
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