America’s space programs, both manned and unmanned, should be cancelled immediately due to animal cruelty. Tuesday’s launch of Shuttle Discovery is a classic example of Empire USA serving its own needs at the expense of others. These hegemonic tendencies are destroying whole ecosystems and the precious life dependent upon them. It doesn’t matter that humankind’s quest for knowledge has increased our average life expectancy from 38 years to 80 in just a few hundred years, or that the quality of life among the poor is considerably better than the wealthiest individuals even 70 years ago.
The only way future launches -- of Shuttles or any rockets -- can continue is to install a large, cylindrical net extending from around the launch site into space. The spacing in the net must not be such that birds become trapped or feel in any way traumatized or otherwise unhappy. It must be camouflaged to resemble a Brazilian rain forest.
These changes are imperative because the life of one beaked cocksucker is more important than space-derived technologies like cellular telephony, GPS, and radio data transmission.
Parody inspired by the insane PETA.
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