Something to look forward to with a Clinton presidency

David Drake has an excellent story on Bush's State of the Union Address and imagined injustices. I'm responding to one paragraph: "Never in the eight years of the Clinton presidency did Conservatives or Republicans manifest the degree of hatred, anger and animosity that has been exhibited by Liberals and Progressives towards President Bush."

If Hillary Clinton becomes president, I'd like to see conservatives (and I'm not conservative) give Hillary the same treatment liberals gave Bush all these years.

Such as:

1. A Republican Speaker of the House should globetrot, meeting with enemies of the US and undermine US foreign policy, which will be set by President Clinton.

2. Top House and Senate Republicans should openly compare President Clinton's policies to those of Adolf Hitler.

3. Any troops involved in military action under President Clinton should be likened to baby killers (well, that should never happen, and never will from Republicans).

4. Any forceful statement against another nation -- such as warning a troublesome Middle Eastern nation not to sabre rattle, or shoot a few cruise missiles from a safe distance (a great liberal trick), Republicans should immediately denounce Clinton as a warmonger and apologize to France and Germany for our president's awful, divisive nature.

5. If the economy is strong under President Clinton, I fully expect Republicans to say how awful the economy is and that we're on the verge of financial collapse and that it has nothing to do with the fickle nature of markets and investment, and instead the impending collapse is 100% the fault of the sitting president.

6. If President Clinton serves two terms, the Great Ponzi Scheme known as Social Security may well implode. As President Clinton belatedly tries to fix the massive financial problem, Republicans should state, over and over again like parrots with jock itch, "There is no Social Security problem."

7. When President Clinton uses the powers she is granted by the federal constitution, by doing things like firing federal prosecutors (things presidents of both parties have been doing for decades), Republicans should denounce her as politiking the justice system to the detriment of the country.

8. Republicans should get involved in illegal land deals and take massive bribes, with the money stored in cash in a freezer, while the media completely ignores the misdeeds. Meanwhile, when a top Clinton official unwittingly gets in the middle of an alleged spy-outing case, where no actual law was broken and the key players turn out to be Class A liars, the official should be treated as a Class A felon and fed to the lions.

9. Constant jokes should be made in public about Hillary's lack of intellectual curiosity.

10. Republicans should grant interviews to overseas newspapers where they are routinely quoted as apologizing for our president.

11. Clinton's top political adviser should be depicted as the devil incarnate at every opportunity. Republicans should insinuate that this individual leads a global cabal that secretly rules the world and controls President Hillary Clinton like a puppet on strings.

12. When Clinton mis-speaks or stumbles on a word during her hundreds of speeches as president, conservatives should make fun of her, comparing her to a chimp.

13. If Hillary goes to war, Republicans should actively work to cause the US to lose the war, and provide aid and comfort to our enemies. Ah, well, once again this can never happen, and Republicans will never stoop to this level.

These points almost make voting for Monica Lewinsky's ex-boyfriend's wife seem like a good idea.

Also, I wonder how many top government officials close to President Hillary Rodham Clinton will be found murdered or to have committed suicide under extremely weird circumstances? How many people will fall asleep on railroad tracks or get caught smuggling cocaine? I wonder how many top national secrets will be sold to North Korea? How many arch criminals will buy pardons from her at the end of her last term? Will she pimp out the Lincoln Bedroom? And, of course, we must ask, will Hillary get the Presidential Snatch licked by an intern in the oval office? Or will she leave Bill to get the First Pole waxed? (Even I think that's terribly crude, but if it's good for the goose, it's probably good for the gander, right?)

The new thinking of the Brits

Mark Steyn has written a story for The National Review that would be comical if it weren't so pathetic. He says the British government has decided to re-label "Islamic terrorism" as "anti-Islamic activity". I deliberately neglected to verify this because I don't want to believe it. Even though Britain is an island, I would have believed it too large to fit down the rabbit hole.

Killing thousands of people in Manhattan skyscrapers in the name of Islam does, among a certain narrow-minded type of person, give Islam a bad name, and thus could be said to be “anti-Islamic” — in the same way that the Luftwaffe raining down death and destruction on Londoners during the Blitz was an “anti-German activity.” But I don’t recall even Neville Chamberlain explaining, as if to a five-year-old, that there is nothing German about the wish to terrorize and invade, and that this is entirely at odds with the core German values of sitting around eating huge sausages in beer gardens while wearing lederhosen.

Steyn cuts to the chase:

The British home secretary would respond that not all moderate imams are as gung-ho to detonate moppets. Which is true. But, by insisting on re-labeling terrorism committed by Muslims in the name of Islam as “anti-Islamic activity,” Her Majesty’s government is engaging not merely in Orwellian Newspeak but in self-defeating Orwellian Newspeak. The broader message it sends is that ours is a weak culture so unconfident and insecure that if you bomb us and kill us our first urge is to find a way to flatter and apologize to you.

Precisely. And this:

Here’s another news item out of Britain this week: A new version of The Three Little Pigs was turned down for some “excellence in education” award on the grounds that “the use of pigs raises cultural issues” and, as a result, the judges “had concerns for the Asian community” — i.e., Muslims. Non-Muslim Asians — Hindus and Buddhists – have no “concerns” about anthropomorphized pigs.

This is now a recurring theme in British life. A while back, it was a local government council telling workers not to have knick-knacks on their desks representing Winnie-the-Pooh’s porcine sidekick, Piglet. As Martin Niemöller famously said, first they came for Piglet and I did not speak out because I was not a Disney character and, if I was, I’m more of an Eeyore. So then they came for the Three Little Pigs, and Babe, and by the time I realized my country had turned into a 24/7 Looney Tunes it was too late, because there was no Porky Pig to stammer “Th-th-th-that’s all, folks!” and bring the nightmare to an end.

I think they renamed "Green Eggs and Ham" to "Green Eggs and Hate Crime", too.

Daytime TV

Fans of daytime television

For the first time in years I watched a bit of daytime TV, and I can report to you that the entire lineup is designed for dunces.

Soaps: Zooming in before cutting away to another scene or a commercial -- WTF? If I'm ever elected president, I'll sign a presidential order forbidding soap opera directors from using their zoom controls. This is absurd.

Also, things have changed in one regard since I last watched a soap (1980s) -- the young female actresses have lip implants (or injections or whatever). This is HIDEOUS. I want to ralph when I see a woman with unnaturally bulging lips. It's rude and I can't watch. If I were married, and I THANK MY LUCKY STARS I'm not, and my wife announced she wanted lip implants, I would serve her with divorce papers immediately. What is the matter with these women?

Game shows: I watched a bit of The Price is Right with Drew Carry (sp?). Straight off, Drew is a stupid looking shitbag. Why is he on TV? And he's clearly bored off his ass.

The worst part of the show is the contrived, artificial joy -- the upbeat music, the crowd screeming with glee when the applause lights are on, and the ridiculous voice of the idiot who announces the contestants and product details. Anyone who watches this show otta be shot. Don't retirees, welfare mothers, and stay at home moms have any taste whatsoever?

The View: Elizabeth Hasselcunt is six years old. Seriously. If I had been listening, but not watching, I would have thought there were three women and a child having a conversation. While I was watching, Elizabeth said the group New Kids On The Block were her generation's Beatles. I think that speaks for itself.

The 700 Club: I can't believe a major network is running this. No real surprise it's Fox, the Christian Right network. Did you know that CBN was able to bring the Christian healing of Jesus Christ to millions of people worldwide? Atta boy, CBN.

The show had on a former "Vegas callgirl" who found Jesus. Strangely, after finding Jeebus she still looks exactly like a whore. Her hair style, huge circular earrings, and a tight shirt that shows off big boobs -- it's interesting that a whore can allegedly change her wicked ways and yet still want to present herself to the world as a whore.

"On the streets of Las Vegas...she not only sold her body, she nearly lost her soul." Oh, brother.

Why is this nonsense the only viable alternative to Liberalism in America?

The losses at Societe General

The French bank Societe General is blaming a rogue trader for losing over $7 billion. They say he circumvented security by stealing passwords and making unauthorized trades. Can you say "fall guy"? If any of this is true, I'm the Pope. The bank itself lost its ass and is pinning it on a single guy. IHT story here.

The Great Global Warming Swindle

Are you tired of leftist climate change propaganda? Watch this documentary. Via Walter E. Williams.

Good taste

NSFW

Canada, what the hell happened?

It's worth taking a look at what's happening with Ezra Levant in the frozen wastes of Canada. He published the Mohammed cartoons a couple of years ago, and he has been dragged before a "human rights commission" to answer for it. The charade begs the question: does Canada believe in free speech, or free speech only if it doesn't make anybody unhappy?

Here's an interesting story Levant wrote for the National Post. He examines the American press coverage of Barak Obama.

Good song

The Shave Ape NFL Playoff Picks

Green Bay over Seattle

Jacksonville over New England (yes)

San Diego over Indianapolis

Dallas over New York

Gloria Steinem: women are No. 1 victims

America's favorite feminazi, Gloria Steinem, has used the New York Socialist Times to tell everyone that being a woman is more of a burden than being black.

That’s why the Iowa primary was following our historical pattern of making change. Black men were given the vote a half-century before women of any race were allowed to mark a ballot, and generally have ascended to positions of power, from the military to the boardroom, before any women (with the possible exception of obedient family members in the latter).

I'm a bigger victim than you!

So why is the sex barrier not taken as seriously as the racial one? The reasons are as pervasive as the air we breathe: because sexism is still confused with nature as racism once was; because anything that affects males is seen as more serious than anything that affects “only” the female half of the human race; because children are still raised mostly by women (to put it mildly) so men especially tend to feel they are regressing to childhood when dealing with a powerful woman; because racism stereotyped black men as more “masculine” for so long that some white men find their presence to be masculinity-affirming (as long as there aren’t too many of them); and because there is still no “right” way to be a woman in public power without being considered a you-know-what.

Long years of campaigning for hairy armpits and full bushes have done little for Gloria's sanity. I guess she doesn't know that women have come a long way.


And then she says:

I’m not advocating a competition for who has it toughest.

So why is she supporting Clinton?

I’m supporting Senator Clinton because like Senator Obama she has community organizing experience, but she also has more years in the Senate, an unprecedented eight years of on-the-job training in the White House, no masculinity to prove, the potential to tap a huge reservoir of this country’s talent by her example, and now even the courage to break the no-tears rule.

Community organizing experience -- well, that's a must for a president. I'm sure that will help in dealing with the Iranians and keep America safe from terrorism. Organizing a community will doubtless lead to sound economic polices, too. And Clinton broke the "no-tears rule." Gloria is too dense to see it was an act? Hillary hasn't uttered a word or taken any action in public that could even be mistaken for genuine.

Organized a lot of communities

The most pathetic aspect of Gloria's support for Hillary Clinton is that Hillary has a fighting chance of being our president solely because of her husband. As Monica Lewinsky and everyone else knows, Bill has a penis. That flies in the face of big bushes everywhere.

Nearly everyone I know is against Hillary, but not because of her gender. It is because she's a liar, a fraud, and a socialist.

Don't miss Gloria's new book:

Open source DVR

The Neuros OSD seems like a good idea. New York Socialist Times:

“HACKERS, welcome! Here are detailed circuit diagrams of our products — modify them as you wish.”

That’s not an announcement you’ll find on the Web sites of most consumer electronics manufacturers, who tend to keep information on the innards of their machines as private as possible.

But Neuros Technology International, creator of a new video recorder, has decided to go in a different direction. The company, based in Chicago, is providing full documentation of the hardware platform for its recorder, the Neuros OSD (for open source device), so that skilled users can customize or “hack” the device — and then pass along the improvements to others.

The OSD is a versatile recorder. Using a memory card or a U.S.B. storage device, it saves copies of DVDs, VHS tapes and television programs from satellite receivers, cable boxes, TVs and any other device with standard video output.

I have been doing this sort of thing for a while -- converting DVDs, VHS tapes, and cable TV recordings to MPEG. My method involves a lot of wires, adapters, and, generally speaking, fucking around. This device might help.

Here's an example of the creativity the box inspires -- the video was made with the Neuros:



The real power of the box is open source. The OS is Linux.

Links
Neuros Technology

It's time to stop asking Pakistan...

...for permission to hunt down a mass murderer. al-AP:

Pakistan reiterated that it will not let American forces hunt al-Qaeda and Taliban militants on its soil, after a news report said Sunday that the Bush administration was considering expanding U.S. military and intelligence operations into Pakistan's tribal regions.

Crouching tiger, hidden freedom

The BBC has an interesting story about the massive oppression of the Chinese:

When journalists at China's national broadcaster CCTV log on, one of the first things that pops up on screen is a notice about what not to report.

These notices are often short and seldom say who has authorised them, but they all contain strict instructions about how to report a story.

Journalists were recently warned off a health scandal, told how to report the death of Benazir Bhutto and had to steer clear of a Hollywood film story.

Censorship has been an everyday feature of news reporting in China for as long as the Chinese Communist Party has been in power.

But this wide range of so-called sensitive stories shows that, in China, any story on any subject at any time can still fall foul of the censor's red pen.

NFL playoff picks

Redskins over Seahawks (Seahawks up 10-0 at time of this pick)

Jaguars over Steelers

Buccaneers over Giants

Chargers over Titans

Muslims kill Dakar

Terrorist threats have forced the cancellation of the Dakar Rally, one of the world's great auto races. It ranks right up there with the Monaco GP and the Indy 500. It's gone now because of Islam. PRnewswire story here.

Huckabee and Barack Hussein Obama win Iowa

I'm really tired of the "Huckaboom boom boom" stuff. I've also seen "Huckaboom or Huckabust?" and "Huck-a-zoom". Give it a rest. It's not funny anymore.


And don't get me started on this inexperienced candidate. I would prefer him to Hillarious Clinton, though. He at least appears to be able to speak without lying.

Would everyone like to know why these two won? They are the most genuine.

Things that piss me off

I have made numerous updates to the list of Things That Piss Me Off. Thought you should know.

Road rage, LA Times style

A Ralph Vartabedian has written an interesting story for the LA Times about improving our driving, which is really important in LA, where the freeway system simply doesn't work. There aren't enough roads for the 20 million or so cars. Naturally, I disagree with a couple of points in the Top Ten list of things to avoid:

1. Harassing older drivers. I constantly observe motorists, typically middle-aged folks, flashing lights, honking horns and waving arms at older drivers. Yes, we all sometimes become impatient or annoyed at drivers who go too slowly, hesitate when changing lanes or violate the law in innocuous ways. In general, expressing road rage is a bad habit and a potentially dangerous one around L.A., given the number of assaults that occur. But getting on the case of older drivers is really lowbrow.

It's "lowbrow" to be unhappy about a wholly incompetent driver? Let's be honest about this. A lot of older drivers (a high proportion, I believe) should not be driving. They are infuriating menaces and no, we don't have to put up with it. Time is the most valuable commodity, seeing as we can't get more of it. Once somebody steals it from you, which is what a 70 year old driver going half the posted speed limit is doing, you'll never see it again. Ralph's point is about harassing older drivers. What about them harassing us? Why don't they have the courtesy to stay home, take mass transit, get a ride with somebody, or hire a taxi? Who is being harassed here?

5. Tinted windows. I wonder what's going on behind those windows that are so blackened it looks like a computer might be driving the car. Wild sex? Drug parties? Personal grooming? Dark tints on front side windows and windshields are illegal for good reason. They prevent drivers and pedestrians from making eye contact and ensuring that the other driver sees them. And they give police a real scare during traffic stops. The fines for this violation, which in L.A. County run about $100, should be sharply increased.

My only gripe with tinted windows is I can't see through the vehicle when I'm following. Good driving involves reacting to traffic in front of you, and if that's limited to just the car directly in front of you, reactions are poor at best. We do our best driving, especially in heavy traffic, when we know what's happening up ahead. Following somebody with a darkly tinted rear window negates this completely except at night. Ralph missed that. He's more concerned with the possibility of "wild sex" going on behind tinted windows, when it's none of his business.

6. Wandering trucks. Southern California has the worst traffic congestion in the nation, but it has an added problem in the number of big rigs that use the freeways. Every day I see trucks that wander out of their lanes or are so big they cannot stay inside their lanes on curves.

I disagree completely. In the last 30 years I've crisscrossed the nation on road trips. Truckers are far and away the best drivers on the road. I can't remember seeing one of them weave, although they undoubtedly do once in a while. People who drive big rigs never do the following: speeding, except by a few miles over the limit in light traffic; drive in the left lane unless overtaking (I doubt if Ralph knows about that rule); drive aggressively. They also have a great system of signaling one another for when it's safe to move out, or in, and a convenient thank-you signal. Car drivers can use these signals with truckers, too. Ralph has probably never heard of how any of this works. Ralph may be smoking street-grade rock cocaine, I'm not sure. In my considerable experience, truckers are the only vehicles on the road who aren't fucking everything up for everybody else.

The Shaved Ape 2008 predictions

The Shaved Ape has peered into his crystal ball for 2008...



Hillarious Clinton will win the presidency with a surprise running mate:



"President" Musharraf will restore democracy in Pakistan and become Pope:



Katie Couric will change her "perky" image:



The Code Pink lesbians will switch sides:



The "president" of Iran will change his mind about Jews:



CNN will discover scientists who are not part of the "consensus" on "climate change":



Harry Reid will finally become consistent, at least on one issue: